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How to be happy in life?

There are things which if done can change our life. And then there are things which if not done can also change our life. At times, we hold on to many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering. But we cling on to them, instead of letting them go and allowing ourselves to be happy.sni

Here are some practical tips for happiness in life.sni

Learn to let go

Most of us cannot stand the idea of being wrong. We are sometimes so anxious about our stand that we even risk ending relationships simply to prove us right. We fail to realize that this is simply not worth it. We need to ask ourselves as to whether proving ourselves right will make such a huge difference in our life. Most of the time, it would not.sni

Somewhat related to our urge to be right is the desire to control things around us, whether it is people or events. Ridiculous as it may appear, lots of times this urge even covers strangers. We should teach ourselves the need to allow everything and everyone to be just as they are. Doing this will make us feel better. The world is beyond winning; we should learn to let go of things at times.sni

Stop trying to impress people

Trying to control things may be a consequence of the way we have been brought up but if taken to an extreme it may allude to a personality disorder. Connected with this urge is our constant desire to impress others. If you come to think of it, many things we do daily or constantly plan or aspire to do is only to impress others. You may not need a new car or smart phone but you cannot drop the urge to purchase one because of the urge to impress people around you.sni

The desire to impress others maybe because you are in competition. But it is mostly because we want to be liked and recognized as part of the group we wish to join. Ironically, the harder you try to get people to like you, the more difficult it gets. And when you stop, many a times, people are drawn to you, effortlessly.sni

Don’t just live, enjoy life

You should learn to enjoy life, instead of trying to live one, which you think others want you to live. Many are living a life that is according to what others think is best for them. It could be their parents, friends, enemies, teachers, society, government or the media. It is nothing short of a tragedy that they are so busy pleasing everybody, that they lose control over their own very lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want and what they need.sni

Few, if any of us, are happy with our lives. However, blaming others for your circumstances is not going to help you. It is not going to change things. Nobody can be blamed for what you have or do not have; or how you feel. We should assume responsibility for our life, and stop blaming others for our predicament.sni

Stop complaining

If you want to be happy, then give up the habit of complaining. Do not complain about things, people, situations and events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you miserable, no situation can make you gloomy unless you allow it to. It is not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. It may surprise you to know that one of the tenets of Sikhism is to never complain about the weather. It makes lot of sense as there is absolutely nothing that one can do about it. We should all learn to face the reality.sni

Forsake criticism

All of us are different. We are not robots that have been produced in a factory in an identical fashion. We somehow have developed this habit of criticizing people, things, and events that are different from us. Instead of criticizing others, how about stressing upon something which is common to all; our desire to be happy. And praise makes us feel good. So you might as well start by praising others, instead of criticizing them.sni

If you appreciate that people are different, then you would stop labeling them as well. We should try opening our mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you do not know anything about.sni

Try positive self-talk

Our mind plays an important role in our lives. Positive self-talk can move us forward while self-defeating talk can hurt us, and destroy our self-confidence. Many of us hurt ourselves by our own constant negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset.sni

The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes destructive. We should learn or at least constantly try to divert our attention if we discover ourselves in negative and self-defeating self-talk. We are not bound to believe everything our mind tells us, particularly when it is negative.sni

Throw away your fears

We can never succeed unless we throw away our fears. Fears are in our mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place. You should march forward, without blaming anybody or coming with any excuse not to move forward. You can limit yourself because of the excuses you could come up with. Instead of lying to yourself about the non-existent excuses, it would make much more sense to improving yourself and your own life.sni

You can become a totally different person if you learn to detach yourself. If you can really achieve detachment, which is of course hard but not impossible, you will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words; you will become a Sufi.sni

Live in your present

For some reason, the past most of the time looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening. But come to think of it, the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for is gone forever. Tragically, the past you are so adoringly thinking about now was ignored by you when it was present. So you might as well start to benefit from the present and enjoy life.sni

Remember, life is a journey and not a destination. It does not mean that you should not plan for the future. Lastly, remember that change is always taking place.sni

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